I Did It My Way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

Life is filled with challenges and often times we are forced to become a caretaker, either for our parents, spouse, children or even a friend. Having a child with a severe disability has been one of my greatest challenges, yet I cannot even imagine what kind of person I would have been if not for having my son in my life. Those of you who have had to care for somebody can relate to the stress that comes from being a caretaker. Those of you who have yet to be a caretaker, you better read ahead ... Your time will probably come one day. Unfortunately, none of us come away unscathed from illness and old age.

Having a child with special needs has taught me a lot about people, but more importantly, has given me a tolerance for others. I have heard over the years that it takes a "special person" a "special mother" to raise a child with special needs. God does not give us more than we can handle, etc, etc.

I do not believe that is true, I think that a person changes when they are faced with becoming a caretaker. They become tougher because what choice do you really have but to become stronger? Often times I will be pushing my son's wheelchair and see the look of pity in the stranger's eyes. Worse yet, those who avoid all eye contact and pretend like my son does not exist, almost like they can "catch" what he has. Always remember, you never really know if one day you may be pushing your loved one in that wheelchair, your spouse, parent, child or grandchild. In reality, it may even be you in that wheelchair some day.

The best part of being a caretaker is seeing the smiles and getting the hugs and kisses from my son every day. Let's face the facts, being a caretaker is a lot of work and sometimes a meaningless job. You have to deal with professional caretakers, pharmacists, doctors, supply companies, and the list goes on and on and on ...

I often wonder how other people deal with the stress of these day to day issues. When I call the pharmacy, supply company, wheel chair maintenance company they know my voice on the phone and I call them by their first name – even ask how their children are doing. ... I know every doctor's office receptionist and sometimes I bring them "treats." I found out that the most important person to get to know is not really the doctor, it is the receptionist since he or she will be the person that you deal with most frequently. They will be the person who helps you fill out your paperwork for insurance, get your prescriptions renewed or even get the doctor on the phone in a timely manner.

Treat them with respect, the doctor may be the head of the office, but the receptionist is the neck, and without the neck, the head cannot turn. (A phrase from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding")

I commend the children who take their elderly parents in their home, caring for them like their children. It is not an easy task to be a caretaker, especially for the very people that took care of you. If you are one of the people who are taking care of your parents, read the children's picture book Love you forever, by Robert Munsch or listen to the version I found online, it will make you cry for sure!

Click here: Love You Forever By: Robert Munsch - YouTube

In order to be a good caretaker, you have to be tough – which does not always make you the most popular kid on the block. You need to be aggressive and do what your gut tells you is best – don't always take every doctor's advice to heart – they are only human beings and make mistakes also. Never be afraid to ask for a second or even third opinion, there is always room for improvement in most issues. Always ask questions and if you do not understand something, ask again and again till you do understand it clearly. It is also useful to have somebody else with you when you are talking to a doctor, they may hear things differently than you do and it can be very beneficial.

Whether you are taking care of your child, parents, spouse, siblings or friends, being a caretaker is a challenging and stressful job. Always find time for yourself and try and not get too stressed out – I know, easier said than done. Remember to always do what you think is right for your loved one – because you are the person who loves them, the doctors are just doing their job – you really do know what is best. I applaud each and every one of you. Most importantly – be strong!

Click here: Frank Sinatra My Way - YouTube